I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
