He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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