Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
