I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
