worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
no you cant smoke seaweed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
