Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
