Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
