and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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