Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you didnt know i had herpes?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
