She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
