I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
