well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
