AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize