You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
