I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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