I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
