she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
