my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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