Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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