i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
