Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The feeling are messing with the penis
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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