Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
