went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Swine flu is the new snow day.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize