She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
