We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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