And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
