actually, I'm a sock model
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
