On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
