Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
