She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
