Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
