I want to walk on stilts...naked
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
