i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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