so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
