Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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