Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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