I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
