I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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