I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
