idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
