Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
