Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
People in love make me want to vomit
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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