SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
