So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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