Plan B is the new Plan A
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
