Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
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