You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
