No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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