I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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