No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize