belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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