my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
