you would pick up someone in the library
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
