You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
