Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
