Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the day after is always just damage control
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
