I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
