So drunk its hurt
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
