Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize