so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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