Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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