He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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