So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
