It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
