If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize