I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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