there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize