I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
