Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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