Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
