just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
